


I Need To Do This So I Know You’ll Be Okay

by eddie_dxaz



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Comfort, First Kiss, Fluff, Idiots in Love, M/M, Maddie knows, Only mentions of Chris tho, Writing A Will, but not really, no beta we die like men, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:26:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23236189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eddie_dxaz/pseuds/eddie_dxaz
Summary: In which Buck does some research and suddenly thinks he's going to die because of a thread. So he writes a Will then has Maddie and Eddie witness it. Things end up... Well, emotional.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 16
Kudos: 370





	I Need To Do This So I Know You’ll Be Okay

**Author's Note:**

> It’s been awhile! I’m sorry. But I’m back and I have like ten unfinished Buddie one shots. So if that’s something you’re interested in, let me know!

Buck shouldn't have been up at three in the morning after a long shift but he was. Somehow he had stumbled onto a thread about near-death experiences and what they could mean. So, of course asks a question. 

_"In the past few years, I've had four experiences where I've almost died. Three of them back to back in the same year... Does this mean anything? I'm just curious."_

Within minutes he was getting responses. Some were telling him that it was just sucky luck while others were more concerned on exactly how he almost died that many times in a row. Then, a serious one came in. The username was "_urlocaldxmbass_" which would have made him chuckle if not for the context of the message.

_"That happened to my sister. We didn't think anything of it until it was too late.If you are noticing that as time goes on, that your near-death experiences are getting closer and closer together it could be a sign that you are meant to die soon. My sister’s were suddenly happening every month until one time she didn't bounce back. I suggest living your life to the fullest. Sorry, OP."_

And didn't that just send a wave of terror through him? Because that's how it was happening. The first time he almost died was on his first date with Abby when he choked on the bread. A couple years had passed, then the fire truck crushed him. After that, there was months where he was doing fine when one day boom, pulmonary embolism. Finally the time between the tsunami and the embolism? That was awfully short. 

Evan was going to die. He sat up all night thinking about all of the things he didn't do. When he was a kid, Buck wanted to climb Mount Everest. That wasn't happening. Maybe it could of back before his bad leg sometimes started aching and he had the energy of a twenty year old rather than someone who was nearing his thirties. Now? The thought just exhausted him. 

He had wanted a family, which he somewhat got with the 118 plus the little thing he kind of built with Eddie and Christopher. Sure, he was in love with Eddie. There was no doubt about that in any part of his body. But, they weren't together. So it wasn't technically a standard family but it was close enough to him. Hell, someday he even confuses Chris as his own.

Chris. He needs to make sure that the little boy is taken care of for life. How the hell will he do that if he's dead? Wait, wasn't Michael updating his Will? Did Buck have a Will?

No. He didn't. Why didn't he have one? Oh, right. Before all of this, the man had been alone. There was no property or money that could have been given to anyone special in the event of his death. However, now? Now there was. It was six in the morning when he had shot up out of bed, determined to make sure his pseudo-son would be okay. Buck was going to write a Will.

***

Eddie was woken up around eight in the morning by his phone ringing off the hook. Whoever the hell wanted his attention this early better have good reasoning for it. He picked it up. After squinting at the name, he shot up into a sitting position, answering it a quickly as possible with his heart beating sporadically in his chest. It was uncharacteristic for the person calling to be up right now on a day off. 

"Buck? What's wrong?" Eddie asks immediately.

"Nothing," The other man says, "I just need you to come over. Please don't bring Chris, I don't want to scare him or anything."

Now, his heart had stopped completely. Don't bring Christopher? Didn't want to scare the kid? What the hell was going on? He got out of bed, grabbing grey sweatpants out of the drawer along with a pair of socks. He quickly started sliding the articles of clothing on, "Buck, man. You're sort of freaking me out here." 

Afterwards, he jogged to Chris' room. The kid was already awake and turned to look at his dad, eyebrows furrowing at the worried expression on his face. The man just gestures for the kid to start getting ready. 

"No, Eddie. It's really nothing bad. Just come over alright? I have to call Maddie." 

Then, he hangs up. Eddie ran a hand through his hair before dialing his Abuela's number. After a lot of apologies and explaining the situation, he had set up a babysitter for Christopher. 

***

When Eddie burst into the apartment, he saw three people. A man in a suit that he couldn't recognize even if he tried and two very annoyed looking Buckleys. Maddie turned to him, sighing, "Thank God. Maybe he'll listen to you. Tell Buck he's not going to die, please."

Their friend closed the door, eyebrows knitting together before he asked, "Excuse me?"

"I'm writing a Will," Buck explained, "I want you guys to witness it."

Now Eddie was gaping at the blond sitting at the table besides the even older man in a very fancy suit. That was probably a lawyer. But what the hell did Buck need a Will for? He was young, in good health as of last week, and technically had no kids. Although, the brunet could argue that Christopher was definitely as much Buck's as he was his at this point. 

Maddie sits down across from her brother, "What do you need a Will for?"

"I've almost died four times in just the past two to four years, Mads. I'm sorry. I know thinking about my possible death upsets you but this is just something I need to do and I'd appreciate if you were here to support me on this. If you actually read it, you'd understand."

Eddie didn't butt in as he just strides across the apartment to pick up the piece of paper and read it over. Just facing the idea of his best friend no longer being on this earth one day was something that had invaded his midnight thoughts when he was alone. They used to be just meant for Chris, but somehow Buck has squeezed a way into them. The only time the firefighter allowed himself to cry was at night. When his house was silent. 

Well, apparently not anymore. Once he saw who the younger man was leaving everything to, involuntary glossiness started forming in his eyes.

"Of course I support you," Maddie breathes out, "I'm going to sign it but I just want to make sure you're completely sure on this. It's a huge deal. I also don't want you thinking you're going to die any time soon because you're going to live a long, long life, right Eddie?"

The man looks up at the mention of his name, a tear falling from down his cheek causing the older sibling of the two to blink at him. He held up the paper. As if that would help her understand. But, predictably it doesn't because Maddie can't read minds. If she could, well, she'd hear some interesting things that Eddie has to think about her little brother sometimes. Thank God the woman didn't posses that power. 

She continues to stare expectantly while Buck holds his breath, obviously waiting for him to say something. Eddie swallows, "You're giving everything to Christopher?"

His voice still came out ridiculously unsteady, despite how much the man had tried to keep it even. The crying probably didn't help. It wasn't sad tears. No, he just couldn't believe that he met someone else that cares so much about his son that they would leave everything for him if they were to pass. Maddie gapes, turning to face her brother with an expression that matches nothing but awe. 

"Yeah," Buck nods, "I am."

They stare at one another for a beat, trying to grasp the other's thoughts on this matter. The lawyer was looking between them. Eddie wipes at his eyes, handing the sheet to Maddie before walking around the table. His friend turns his body to follow his movements until he's looking up at the older man. The brunet breathes out, grabbing Buck's hands and crouching in front of him. Their eyes meet. Blue against brown. Such a difference in contrast but both holding the same indescribable emotion.

"I need you to really think about this," He starts, rubbing his thumbs comfortingly against his partner's knuckles. 

"I did. All night," His best friend responds. There was a certain gentleness plaguing his voice that Maddie had obviously never heard before. Her raised eyebrows at the interaction gave it away. The man continued with, "If something were to happen, Eddie...I'd want Chris to be okay."

They don't say another word to one another. Buck was giving his son everything he had. Instead of being naive, the fellow firefighter was recognizing that life is short and his could possibly end any day of the week. It was a part of the job. It didn't make it anymore easier to really face that, though. Eddie wrote his Will, which he has to update, before he went into the army. It was hard.

Of course, when he enlisted he had known there was a chance of never coming home. That didn't mean that writing a Will at such a young age didn't shake him to his very core. Yet, this seemed so easy for Buck. Like it was obvious that this was supposed to happen this way. Eddie nodded. He stood, hands letting go of his best friend's and clapping on his shoulders.

They both knew how this looked. To any outsider, they probably seemed like a couple. That's just how it is between them. 

"Maddie? Are you offended?" Buck asks, facing at his sister now, "Because it's not-"

The woman glanced up from the paper and took his hand in hers to interrupt, "No. I would never. Mom and dad, maybe. But they suck..."

She pauses for a moment, eyes settling on Eddie as she wipes a straggling tear. A small smile comes across her features as looks back to her younger brother, who had slumped in relief slightly underneath the older man's fingertips. Maddie nods, "And they don't see what I see. Hand me the pen, please." 

Now Buck's eyes were reddening as he choked out a sort of eased laugh. The lawyer took out the writing utensil from his pocket before sliding it over to the older sister. She signed quickly. Afterwards, taking a breath and moving both the sheet and the pen to Eddie. 

He squeezed his friend's shoulders before letting go, signing his own name as a witness. Buck stands up as the lawyer does. They shake hands briefly before he shows himself out of the door. "Wow, he really wanted to leave," Maddie jokes. 

The men chuckle at that. The air felt heavy, almost charged with something. It felt like there was an elephant in the room yet none of them seem quite sure of where it originated from. It was silent. 

Then, Eddie realized it was coming from him. Pouring out of every pore of his body until it filled the whole room up with the thickness of it. Maddie realized this too. She gave him a look, one that told him not to worry and that all will be okay.

He almost let himself believe her. She left, then. Excusing herself by saying that she had a shift to be at it in thirty minutes but that Buck would be hearing from her later tonight. As soon as the door closed, it took over.

The feeling from inside of him became too much all at once, his fingers twitched at how uneasy it was leaving him. So, what did he do? Eddie Diaz finally just gave in. 

He grabbed Buck, turned him around, and planted his lips against his, hands cradling the blond's face. It was a dive into an ocean. Sure, at any moment the current could pick up and take you away but wasn't the possibility that it won't worth it? The sensation of cooling down after being almost fried underneath the sun for too long? For him, it was. He had been overheating for far too long, now it was time to finally suck up the fear and jump in. 

His best friend seemed shocked at first before reciprocating, hands finding their way onto Eddie's waist. The slightly shorter man conveyed everything into that kiss. All of the pain, the joy, the love, everything. Everything he has felt while he has known Evan Buckley plus a little more. 

They pulled apart, eyes still closed. Their foreheads rested together and Buck brought up his hand to hold Eddie's wrist, rubbing his thumb along where his pulse would be. "What was that for?" Buck murmured softly.

The two opened their eyes, separating now. "For being you," Eddie replied, "For being someone Christopher can rely on. Forever."

Buck was searching his brown orbs as he trailed off. The feeling from before has eased away, opening up the door to a whole other one. Content. He slipped his hands off of the younger man's face.

"I don't want you to die, you jerk." 

His best friend let go of his wrist, instead pulling them into an embrace. A chin now rested on top of the short, dark locks that Eddie has kept short. That only lasted for a short amount of time. Buck tilts his head down to press his lips into his friend's head, tangling his fingers within said locks from earlier.

"I won't," He promises.

Eddie believes it.

Whatever had freaked Evan Buckley into writing a Will had disappeared now. Chased away by the sole comfort that is the man in his arms and the child that gave him a reason to keep going.


End file.
